Friday, May 6

Worst Week - Car Accident and Tornado Alley

 My husband had a car accident last week.

First, and most importantly, he's fine. The guy in the other car is fine. Damage was minimal, and considering how bad it could have been, I'm so grateful that things turned out okay.

When my husband told me about the accident, I breathed an audible sigh of relief and told him this:

"Honey, it's okay. It was an accident. That's why they're called car accidents."
"Hey, it's about time we put our car insurance to good use."
"You handled things well and I'm so glad you're okay."

Here's what I was thinking:
"GREAT! Like we need this right now!"
"How did it happen? Wait, lemme guess... you fell asleep?"
"Goodbye low car insurance rate!"

Isn't that awful? It was like two of me this time. The regular wife and the wife of a narcoleptic. We growled at each other, each determined to have her say... fortunately, now that I've had some practice, I was able to control myself and handle things fairly well.

He did fall asleep at the wheel while waiting at a light. When the car in front of him stopped, he drifted along, jerked awake, slammed on the brakes and swerved in time to hit the rear corner of the car rather than slamming into the entire back end. The most frustrating thing about the situation is my husband's denial that narcolepsy was a factor.

It's a recurring issue for us.

My husband seems to feel that admitting that narcolepsy is occasionally at fault for his mistakes is an admission that narcolepsy is a bigger issue than he cares to admit. I'm in the confusing place of not knowing when to blame narcolepsy and when to blame the man. When that confusion threatens to undo me, I stop and focus on whatever that silver lining may be. In this case, it was the fact that things could have been worse.

They really could have been.

On April 27th, our city was one of several hit by devastating tornadoes. The series of tornadoes killed almost 400 people across several states and caused billions of dollars in damage. Our family was scared, left without electricity and a few fallen trees, but we had our home, belongings, and our LIVES. Some of our friends didn't fare as well and are now homeless. Some here are still without electricity. It was a week of trauma that really put things into perspective.

My husband may have an annoying, frustrating chronic illness, but my goodness, who cares! At least I have my husband. The day that we sat huddled and frightened in our home, I leaned on him physically, emotionally, and spiritually. He handled everything. That strong supporter was definitely not narcolepsy - it was all the man.

9 comments:

  1. Wow, how scary. I have watched the news reporting on the devastation the tornadoes have caused.

    Those are some honest and difficult questions about narcolepsy and how big in issue it is. We definitely struggle with that here. And the conflicting dialog within you: we all have those things we think, and those things we say. It is a triumph when we are able to stop and think before we speak.

    Sounds like you are due some better weeks.

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    1. Thanks so much & I hope better weeks are ahead...

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  2. Dear God, I pray your husband gets better control of his narcolepsy. Falling asleep while operating a 4000 lb car is the scariest thing in the world for me. If I ever knowingly dozed off or zoned out while driving, I would gladly sell my car and cut up my drivers license. I's so glad that no one was hurt in this accident. I pray that your husband takes this seriously, and doesn't blow it off because no one was hurt. I'm praying for you, and your family...hang in there!

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  3. Just gotta say I think you are awesome. I have not met very many men with narcolepsy that haven't been divorced by their spouses because they can't handle it.

    Having narcolepsy myself, I have similar arguments in my head with my narcoleptic side vs the side of me that desperately wants to be normal. The narco side of me has to talk my wannabe side out of doing many things, but the wannabe side gets extremely bitter that "life" has been taken away from me with this disorder. When I attempt to do regular activities, it sets me back for days and I can't seem to pull out of the fatigue unless I do absolutely nothing during those days of recovery. Then I just go back to being normal tired. Even getting a haircut wears me out.

    I'm glad he's ok from the accident. When I was given my 25 mile driving restriction I was ticked. Didn't want my freedom taken away. But now, if I could hire a driver, I would in a heart beat. It's such a burden! I hope all is well in the future and you all remain safe!

    Have you by chance joined any support groups online? If you have a FB account, and want to join, there is a very active and supportive group called NAPS and another called "Narcolepsy Support Group" There are quite a few spouses and parents of PWN

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    1. Thanks so much Jaalsey - since your comment, yes, I have found some great groups who offer lots of encouragement. At this time I don't belong to any, but just "lurking" has been quite helpful. Hang in there!

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  4. That was scary. Good thing your husband was okay. What happened to your car now? Yeah, there are really devastating stories of twister attacks these past weeks. We should be truly thankful for the things we have and you're blessed that you and your family survived the tornadoes. Oh btw, what medications does your husband take right now? Hope you guys are doin' fine.

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  5. Thanks for the input and concern everyone. The car is fine - we're still using it - and now that my hubby is on Nuvigil, he's handling everything so much better, even driving.
    XO

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  6. “My husband may have an annoying, frustrating chronic illness, but my goodness, who cares! At least I have my husband.” – That was sweet. I’m glad that nothing serious happened to your hubby. Despite his illness, he is still trying to be a good man. And he should also be thankful that he has a loving and caring wife.

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