Monday, August 23

Living In Your Head Without Anything to Numb You

Today I realized that I listen to Sia a lot. She's a musician who has a lovely voice and wonderful arrangements, but I like her so much because she sings about feelings and such. So today I was listening to "Numb" which is an oldie but most definitely a goodie. The song is really (in my opinion) about someone she loves and wants to be close to, but they'll first need to stop numbing themselves... with drugs, food, alcohol or whatever - she doesn't mention any of those specifically, that's just my take.

The song's refrain is "It has to end to begin." In other words, her loved one will have to stop doing whatever it is that's numbing them to "begin" a new chapter in their life. That's what I think re: my husband's current lifestyle. I think some things will have to end in order for him to begin to thrive despite having narcolepsy.

It isn't that I think he's failing, but he's just... surviving. I want him to thrive despite his health conditions. I believe it's possible or else I wouldn't be trying so hard to help. But who am I to force him to change things? Besides, he was only diagnosed with his illnesses 2 years ago. I think he's still getting used to the idea, actually.

When your chronically ill spouse has the mental, emotional, and physical energy to change, be there to help - hold their hand if necessary. Until that time, support them in what they can do now. That's what I'm trying to do. I want my husband to try some new treatments, find a new doctor, get off his current meds... but right now, he can't motivate himself to do those things. He's just trying to make it through each day. Until he's ready to try some new things, I'll keep researching and reading and blogging... and holding his hand.

*For the lyrics to the entire song "Numb" by Sia, you can click this sentence.

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