My husband is so funny. He makes me laugh every day, which is awesome because I love to laugh. Sometimes it's silly self-deprecating humor, sometimes it's witty little comments about life. He is also very kind. He's one of those people who sees a teary-eyed kid alone in a store and starts walking over before I even notice anything's wrong. He is incredibly resourceful and clever, smart and confident, and he is a really loving husband and father. I adore him.
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That's really how it feels to me.
I can look into my husband's eyes and instantly know when I'm looking at my true love. His eyes are warm, patient, loving, and sparkle with mischief. I gaze into them and feel a true sense of belonging to another human being.
I can also look into his eyes and recognize when Narcolepsy is looking back at me.
Even to this day, it astounds me that I can look into those same eyes and see a cold distant anger, tiredness, annoyance, and disdain. I cast my eyes downward when I look into Narcolepsy's face. I refuse to look it in the eye - not because I'm afraid, but because I'm enraged. I resent it for hiding behind the face of the man that I love. But rather than give in to the anger that it wants me to show, I swallow my words and treat Narcolepsy with tenderness. I know that my husband is also in there, waiting to take his place again.